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What To Do When You Feel Lost In Life: Your 5-Step Plan
- Vanessa Marie
- Mar 27
- 7 min read
Updated: Apr 4
There comes a moment in almost everyone’s life when everything feels off—when life feels uncertain, like you’re drifting without direction, questioning your path. You begin to feel lost in life, questioning decisions that once felt certain. Maybe you wake up one day and realize you don’t recognize the life you’re living—you start overthinking your relationship, your job no longer excites you, or your daily routine feels empty. When this happens, it’s natural to ask what to do when you feel lost in life and how to regain that sense of purpose you once felt.
Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re failing—sure the struggle feels real but just know that this is a sign something in your life is shifting, and that's a good thing. The one thing in life that I am certain of is nothing stays the same.Even when things seem stable, they’re still shifting in small, sometimes imperceptible ways. The only real constant in life is that nothing stays exactly the same forever.
If you’ve been asking yourself, How do you find yourself when you are lost?, I am here to tell you that this awareness is amazing—it’s the first step toward change. Clarity doesn’t come all at once, but by taking small, intentional steps, you can start finding yourself again and move forward with a little more self-assurance everyday.
Losing your way isn’t failure; it’s an invitation to explore a new direction.
Why Do People Feel Lost in Life?
There are many culprits that leave people feeling lost in life. Our lives are bombarded with expectations, societal pressures, and the incessant hum of what others think we should be doing. These external forces can be deafening, drowning out our own internal voice. Then in walks self-doubt—that sneaky saboteur undermining our confidence.
But let’s not forget that stumbling into this disorienting space is part of the human experience we all share. It often happens after a major change—a breakup, career shift, or a routine that no longer feels right.
So if you’ve been wondering, How can I find myself again?, know that this confusing and uncertain phase doesn't have to last. Start by identifying what’s causing the disconnect. Self-reflection is truly magical when it comes to connecting with your higher self.
The Illusion of Control: Finding Clarity in Uncertainty
We all want to feel like we are in control of our lives, right? But the hard truth is, we overestimate how much control we really have. Research shows that having a sense of purpose and control over our lives benefits our well-being by reducing stress and improving health.
However, the illusion of control can lead to overconfidence and unrealistic expectations, setting us up for disappointment. This desire for certainty can leave us feeling lost in life, stuck and unsure of which decision to act upon, especially when we feel the pressure to make the “right” choice.
Experts, myself included, believe that having a healthy sense of control and agency over our life fosters confidence and forward momentum. Think of it this way: whether you believe in God, Source, the universe, or collective power, we are co-creating our lives together. Yes, absolutely have a plan, set goals, and do the work—but stay open to the potential for redirection and the unexpected. This is at the heart manifestation.
Personally, these moments excite me. When a life coaching client comes to me in the midst of change and uncertainty telling me she feels stuck in life and asking, “How can I find myself again?”, my perspective is one of possibility. I quickly remind her that this is just a moment in time, that she’s had success before, and she will again. This universal experience is simply a rut that, with the right guidance, self-inquiry, and effort, she can climb out of in a relatively short amount of time.
These turning points, though unsettling, often appear as challenges. But by remaining open, they are truly opportunities for curiosity that will lead you to finding yourself when you are lost, in a deeper, more authentic way.
The Role of Self-Doubt and Uncertainty in Feeling Lost
Self-doubt is a dream killer. And not knowing what you want can leave you circling aimlessly. Learning to distinguish your voice from the cacophony of outside noise and listen to your inner voice and what you value is paramount.
Ask yourself?
Do you believe in yourself? Truly?
Do you know what you want?
What brings you joy?
What are you good at?
Self-reflection can bring you back to yourself. Only when we are self-aware can we invoke change. Awareness is the catalyst to change.
What To Do When You Are Feeling Lost In Life: 5 Step Plan
How do you find yourself when you are lost? It sounds vast, doesn’t it? Like climbing a mountain. But it doesn’t have to be that way. I am all about baby steps – small, doable actions that shift from feeling lost to taking charge.
How do you find yourself again? Start with this 5-step plan anytime you are questioning what to do when you are feeling lost in life.
Step 1: What to Do When You Feel Lost In Life
Accept and Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment
First and foremost, be kind to yourself. Know that it’s okay to feel lost in life, but understand that you are not actually lost.
I mean it. It’s really, really okay if you find yourself in this mental headspace. Just try not to stay there too long.
Don’t beat yourself up for it. Instead, acknowledge the feeling. Let it be. Allow it to exist without adding layers of self-criticism. Self-compassion is your superpower right now.
Step 2: What to Do When You Feel Lost In Life
Reflect on Your Values and Passions
Reconnect with those core values, those deep-seated passions you do have. They are your internal guide. Take some time to ponder, journal, or meditate on them. How to find yourself when you are lost begins by looking within. You will find all your answers there.
Imagine yourself, living your best life:
What does that look like?
Where are you?
Who are you with?
What are you doing?
Step 3: What to Do When You Feel Lost In Life
Take Action and Set Small, Achievable Goals
Big dreams can be overwhelming. So, break them down—way down. Goals often seem distant, but we don’t achieve them overnight. The right goal-setting strategy reveals that one small step today brings you closer to the next step tomorrow, and so on.
Maybe it’s researching a topic or reaching out to someone you admire. Personally, I reconnect best with myself when I’m in nature. Evidence confirms that nature is incredibly beneficial for our mental health—something I can wholeheartedly attest to!
Start with these small steps to build momentum which will lead to a sense of control – a healthy amount:
Set achievable short-term and long-term goals
Break down that vision into manageable steps
What can you accomplish in the next week, then the next year?
Create a vision board, a mind map or write a detailed description and make it tangible – something you know for certain you can do! Why? Because starting off with an easy win will give you that boost in confidence to keep going?
To help you get started with your goals on your own, I created this simple yet effective tool called the Aligned Goal-Setting Guide. It's fillable on any device for any goal, anytime.
Knowing what you want and keeping track of your progress will get you most of the way there.
Step 4: What to Do When You Feel Lost In Life
Seek Support from Others
I know it's hard to believe that there isn't one single person that has it all figured out, but it's the truth! Those you see around you who look like they do have it all figured out, are simply at a place in their life where they have come out the other side of feeling lost in life, stuck or in a rut. They are shining now and you can get there too.
I tell everyone I work with that these uncertain moments are actually a gift, an new starting point of self-discovery, building resilience, guiding us toward the life we are meant to experience.
Talk to a mentor, connect with a life coach, or confide in a councelor or trusted friend.
Sometimes, an outside perspective is all you need. Someone to offer insight, encouragement, and help you foster personal accountability.
As a women's empowerment life coach, I offer personalized coaching for those who feel lost or uncertain no matter where you are located. I've served clients virtually in Dallas, Boston. Portland, Toronto, Vancouver, LA, Calgary and many places in between. Together, we can work on identifying your goals and creating a clear, actionable plan to move forward, soaring you toward life changing results.
Step 5: What to Do When You Feel Lost In Life
Cultivate a Positive Mindset and Practice Patience
Staying positive through tough times and uncertainty can be a lifesaver. Focus on what you can control and have faith in what you can’t. Celebrate small victories, practice gratitude, and be patient; greatness takes time and often many attempts.
Our beliefs about ourselves shape our reality, and our mindset can either drive or hinder our progress. Ironically, when we are feeling lost in life, we often experience low spirits. But this is when we need to cultivate a positive mindset the most.
You are the solution to your worry, and struggles. Once you can get out of your negative mindset and change your story, you will change your life.
Finding Yourself Again: A Journey of To Your True Self
Finding yourself again is a journey to your true self, the one worthy of all you desire. It's not about becoming someone new. Rather, it is about remembering someone you always were.
It entails self-awareness, compassion, and setting intentions aligned with who you really are within. You can't get this wrong because who you are and what you desire is inherently part of you. It’s a process of rediscovery, peeling back the layers of doubt and fear that have built up over time. Every step you take is an affirmation that you are worthy, capable, and deserving of living a life that reflects your authentic self.
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves."
Henry David Thoreau
This journey isn’t always linear; there will be moments of clarity and moments of challenge. But with each experience, you grow closer to the essence of who you’ve always been, and the life you’ve always dreamed of becomes more accessible.
Remember, it’s not about finding something that was lost, but about embracing what has always been inside of you, waiting to be acknowledged. You are already whole, and this journey is your path back to that realization.
Find out what to expect from a life coach, working with me privately by applying here to schedule your free discovery call and see if we connect and vibe.
Feeling lost in life is temporary if you decide to take action.
