Discovering Love and Happiness Through Top 10 Self-Care Tips
Trauma is the result of a negative event in your past. It is the emotional wound usually sustained from an experience we carry around inside us. The journey to heal from trauma is one of discomfort for sure. It’s important to recognize that trauma can manifest in various forms, from severe physical abuse to less overt experiences, such as emotional neglect. Each person’s experience and the impact it has on their life is valid, meaning worthwhile, regardless of the severity of the event.
Dr. Judith L. Herman, an American psychiatrist and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School introduced the concepts of “big T trauma” and “little t trauma” in her book Trauma and Recovery, published in 1992. The terms have since been widely adopted in discussions about trauma and its varying impacts. But let's keep in mind that trauma is trauma—experiences too big for our brain to metabolize, having a lasting impact.
Most of us have encountered past trauma, whether 'big T' or 'small t,' at one point or another in our lives, making it often difficult to believe that we deserve happiness and joy. This can stem from repeated emotional or physical neglect, witnessing death, or experiencing bullying and the divorce of a parent—all undermining a person's sense of safety.
Know that there is strength in reclaiming your well-being and you can begin the healing process no matter the size of the wound. Everyone's experience is interpreted very differently but these top 10 self-care tips can make the journey a little less challenging.
The 7 Pillars of Self Care
I have been coaching women for over a decade and I've found that there are mindset shifts that can help us find inner love and happiness if we are willing to embrace them. These shifts involve self-discovery, empowerment, and self-care—I don't just mean a bubble bath, although that can be a part of it too, why not!
You should always try your best to remember to take care of yourself in whichever way you can at the moment — that is the basis of self-care.
Self-care is an essential practice for maintaining both our mental and physical quality of life, and it can be broken down into seven pillars that address different aspects of our lives.
Here are the 7 pillars of self care:
mental
emotional
physical
spiritual
social
personal
professional
These provide a simplified framework to help guide a more balanced and fulfilling life. While each pillar encompasses greater depth, focusing on these areas can foster resilience, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.
By embracing all 7 pillars of self care, you create the foundation for meaningful recovery and personal growth. It may seem like a cliché, but prioritizing loving yourself first is the starting point to foster a healthy relationship with yourself.
Building on the framework of the 7 pillars of self-care, with these top 10 self-care tips to help you cultivate balance and well-being across different areas of your life. These tips are designed to be actionable and easily integrated into your daily routine.
Top 10 Self-Care Tips That Will Help Support Yourself as You Begin to Heal From Trauma
These top 10 self-care tips will help and guide you through highs and lows. It's essential to try our best and put ourselves first throughout all life stages. After all, self care activities for women aren't limited to putting on makeup and grabbing a takeout coffee while rushing to drop your child off at school or on the way to a work meeting.
Self-Care Tip # 1: Being Kind to Yourself
Out of the top 10 self-care tips, being kind to yourself is the foundation. Healing from trauma begins with a self-compassionate mindset, and adopting this approach is one of the most important self-care tips. Finding love and happiness starts with being kind to yourself, allowing you to cultivate self-compassion and develop a positive self-image.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion, conducted a controlled trial of the Mindful and Self-Compassion Program and found that individuals who practiced self-compassion exhibited better psychological well-being compared to those who did not.
When we are kind to ourselves and treat ourselves with care and understanding, rather than attacking ourselves for perceived shortcomings, we foster resilience, emotional balance, and inner peace, allowing for greater healing from trauma to occur. This is what self-care is all about—serving our highest good.
By recognizing our shared humanity and imperfections, we allow ourselves to take aligned action steps—like cultivating a mindfulness practice or seeking professional help—that improve our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. These self-care strategies play a key role in the journey toward healing and personal growth. Related: How To Be Mindful in Everyday Life)
Self-Care Tip # 2: Set Healthy Boundaries
Embarking on your personal growth journey through self-care involves recognizing that you are the gatekeeper to your thoughts, feelings, values, desires, and deal-breakers. Setting healthy personal boundaries early on starts with self-awareness. Understand what you want and need for yourself and in your relationships, actively contributing to your overall health so you can heal from trauma.
It's important to express your needs openly and respectfully. Picture it as being the bouncer at your own personal nightclub, where you decide who gains entry and who faces rejection. This is self-care as well. So, grab your velvet rope and take charge of the relationships in your life, actively participating in your journey to embrace a healthier future and heal from trauma that may be holding y0u back from growth.
In addressing boundaries, the phrase "good fences make good neighbors" rings true - except, in this case, we're not talking about neighbors but rather your own mental well-being. This protective shield around your psyche, deflects unwanted influences and safeguarding your own needs and desires.
This creates a safe space for yourself to heal from trauma that reduces stress and anxiety levels, allowing yourself to once again remember how to. You are essentially telling yourself and others that your needs, values, and well-being matter.
Self-Care Tip # 3: Asking for Help
It’s easy to get caught up in the needs and expectations of others, but taking care of yourself first is essential to healing from trauma. When you are honest about what you want and need for yourself, you are more likely to attract partners and a close circle of genuine friends who align with those values and goals. Incorporating self-care tips, like communicating your needs and seeking support, falls under asking for help—encouraging your personal growth to create a foundation for a healthier, sense of self while still leaning on others when needed.
Reaching out to a life coach, like myself, or a therapist or even a close friend can provide you with the guidance and support you need on this journey of self-discovery and healing whether in-person or with an online life coach.
The increasing popularity of life coaching reflects a shift towards proactive self-improvement, alongside the growing acceptance of therapy as a valuable resource for mental health. By 2030, the U.S. life coaching market is expected to reach approximately $2.1 billion as more of us recognize the value of asking for help, becoming a common resource for personal and professional growth. This trend indicates a holistic approach to well-being, where individuals seek out various forms of support to enhance their lives
As you prioritize self-care and express your needs, having someone to help you navigate these changes can enhance your growth and resilience, empowering you to build a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Remember, seeking help is a strength, and it can lead to transformative breakthroughs that support your overall well-being
Self-Care Tip # 4: Saying "no"
Saying "no" becomes a powerful form of self-care, especially when faced with overcommitting or sacrificing your well-being for others. When we are able to authentically say no to someone else because it doesn't align with our needs and desires, it means we are saying "yes" to ourselves.
Setting these healthy boundaries not only empowers your ongoing healing journey but also establishes the standard for the respect and care you deserve in any relationship, be it romantic or otherwise.
This is a powerful form of self-love because shows that you respect for yourself enough to prioritize your own needs even if it doesn't always meet the needs of someone else.
Self-Care Tip # 5: Being Mindful
By gently releasing the past from our consumed mindset, we create space for new experiences and relationships, allowing aspects of healing from trauma to begin. This process, being mindful of the present moment, organically releases past hurts and resentments, helping us to become more open to new opportunities without the baggage of past experiences weighing us down. When we are being mindful of our thoughts, beliefs, surroundings, experiences, and emotions, we are conveying a great message to ourselves—that our self-care is not only important but essential for our growth and well-being.
Holding onto the past can prevent us from fully living in the present moment and can even impact our future relationships, hindering the trajectory of trauma healing. By carrying the weight of the past, we inadvertently build walls that block the potential for new connections to flourish, impeding the healing process.
Releasing this burden allows us to effectively heal from trauma, approaching each day with a lighter heart and an open spirit, ready to embrace the beauty of the present and the promise of what’s to come. Through this act of self-care, we empower ourselves to move forward with resilience and optimism.
Self-Care Tip # 6: Taking Breaks
Recognizing the importance of stepping away from daily tasks can significantly impact your overall well-being. When you intentionally carve out time for breaks, you allow your mind and body the opportunity to recharge.
Take it from me: when I listen to my body by stepping away from my desk to take a walk, engage in stretches, or practice mindful breathing, I feel remarkably regenerated, even if just for a brief moment. These intentional breaks open up a space for renewed focus and heightened creativity. By allowing myself these pauses, I enhance my productivity while cultivating a healthier, more balanced workflow.
To help heal from trauma, try embracing thoughtful self-care strategies like tuning into your own body’s signals, like recognizing the need for rest and prioritizing those moments without guilt. Acknowledging the need for breaks fosters a positive work-life dynamic and allows for a deeper connection to your goals and aspirations. Incorporating these self-care tips into your routine transforms breaks from mere interruptions into valuable practices that enhance resilience and enrich your everyday experiences.
Self-Care Tip # 7: Getting Enough Sleep
Prioritizing adequate sleep is fundamental to achieving optimal well-being and performance. Incorporating self-care tips, such as establishing a consistent bedtime routine, can significantly improve the quality of your rest. When the mind and body receive sufficient sleep, they are better equipped to handle daily challenges, process emotions, and maintain focus throughout the day.
The self maintenance practices of curating a relaxing sleep environment and minimizing screen time before bed, can further enhance your ability to recharge. Recognizing sleep as a key component of your top 10 self-care tips that should not be overlooked. By making sleep a priority, you lay the groundwork for greater clarity, creativity, and emotional balance in all areas of your life so that you can heal from trauma at your own pace. Plus it feel just so darn good.
Your physical health each day begins with a recharged body, but eating well and drinking plenty of water should not be overlooked. A healthy self-care regime means making sure your body is well-nurtured.
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” — Anne Lamott
Self-Care Tip # 8: Spending Time Alone
Valuing time alone serves as a vital practice for nurturing one’s mental and emotional health. Carving out moments for solitude allows for deep reflection, enabling a clearer understanding of personal thoughts and feelings. Incorporating self-care tips such as scheduling regular periods of quiet time fosters a sense of peace and rejuvenation, essential for maintaining balance in a busy life.
Embracing self-maintenance during these solitary moments leads to enhanced creativity and clarity. By disconnecting and unplugging from the noise of daily interactions, you create space to recharge and reconnect with your inner self. This unstructured time alone can lead to insights that might remain hidden in the busyness of daily life.
Self-Care Tip # 9: Connecting with Nature
The simple act of stepping outside allows for a break from the demands of daily life, creating an opportunity for reflection and peace. Just like children need fresh air, time to play outside, and allow for their senses to engage in curiosity and observation, our adult brains too benefit from these moments of connection with nature.
Incorporating self-care tips such as taking walks, practicing mindfulness, or simply sitting under a tree can rejuvenate our mental health and enhance overall well-being, providing vital support as we heal from trauma. Taking a break to be with yourself in the present moment allows you to acknowledge your feelings and experiences, reminding you that this moment is perfect just the way it is.
Taking walks has become a daily routine I almost can’t get enough of, serving as a time for both physical movement and mental clarity—one of my favorite self-care tips. I often listen to my a podcasts, audiobooks, music and connect to a higher power, allowing new ideas and experiences to flow into my mind as I navigate the path ahead. Letting the sunshine hit my skin and the sounds and smells boost my mood creates a recipe for the perfect reset for both mind and body.
Self-Care Tip # 10: Show Yourself Some Love
As the saying goes; We accept the love we think we deserve, conveys the concept that our self-perception and sense of worth profoundly shapes the type of love and relationships we permit in our lives. It implies that our self-esteem influences our choices. It causes us to embrace relationships that align with our perceived level of worthiness, even if they are detrimental. If our self-esteem is low, we may settle for inadequate or disrespectful love, which is not in alignment with our goals when trying to heal from trauma.
Conversely, if we value ourselves and believe we merit genuine respect and affection, we are more inclined to seek and accept healthier relationships. This quote emphasizes the importance of recognizing our self-worth and setting boundaries to foster fulfilling and respectful connections—a huge step forward in our self-care journey.
So, out of the top 10 self-care tips, try and remember this one above all else as you continue to nurture your own journey as you being to heal from trauma—to show yourself some love. You'll discover that self maintenance is paramount.
The scars of the past do not define you; they are simply stepping stones guiding you toward a love that is truly transformative and life-affirming. Embrace the present, look forward to the future, and hold onto the promise that healing from trauma, along with self-care are intertwined in a quest uniquely yours.
The Power of Self Maintenance and Care
Remember that healing from trauma is a process that take time and effort, and every step towards self-love and self-care is a valuable one that will move you closer to loving yourself deeply. Just like any other skill, the practice of self-care requires consistent effort and patience to develop. So, when you feel like giving up or feel discouraged, take a moment to remind yourself that progress takes time and that every small step counts.
To heal from trauma, pain, and significant disappointment that each one of us experiences, is not a linear process, and there will be bumps along the way in life, some much bigger than others. By cultivating more love and worthiness for yourself, you are not only improving your own well-being but also positively impacting those around you.
Self care will also help you overcome blaming others in the long term, fostering accountability and responsibility of your own life.
Be gentle with yourself, seek out the support of a therapist or life coach, and acknowledge your daily progress. Reach out by applying here if working together with me sounds like the right fit for you or decide between life coaching vs counseling. Either way, your journey toward healing through self-care is a gift to yourself and the world. So continue with courage and kindness, affirmation of your strength and growth. Such experiences may never completely leave your subconscious or be fully healed from the body, but they will fade and serve as markers of how far you've come.
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