How Do You Become Resilient
When we talk about what makes some people keep going even when things get really tough, we’re referring to a concept called having a resilient mindset. So what is resilience exactly? And how do you become resilient?
Resilience is a term that often refers to the ability of an individual to effectively bounce back from challenges and difficulties. It’s the power of grit and tenacity that enables us to forge ahead despite the adversity we are sure to face from time to time. Building a resilient mindset therefore, is birthed out of a growth mindset, available to us all. We simply must choose whether or not to embrace it.
At its essence, building a resilient mindset is a skill we practice, acquired over time. To become resilient means to start facing life's setbacks head-on, emerging stronger on the other side, instead of feeling powerless when life knocks us down. And you can be sure that this will happen to each of us at some point in our lives, whether it's due to a physical ailment, a relationship breakup, financial hardship, or the loss of someone we love—any form of mountain we have yet to climb. Recognizing that these sufferings are a part of life is a trait of resilient individuals. No one is exempt from experiencing pain in life.
Becoming resilient is not just about recovering from a fall; it's about the growth that comes from overcoming when we have fallen, and getting back up, dusting ourselves off and forging ahead with determination.
Resilience strategies are part of a determined individual, embodying the unwavering commitment to press on, even when faced with hurdles. Those with determination do not simply wish for their aspirations to materialize; they establish timelines, devise resilience strategies, and initiate steps toward their goals. They understand that while dreams mark the finish line, determination acts as the vital energy driving them toward achievement. Therefore being resilient is a mindset we learn will support our life's journey.
Discovering Resilience
When I was going through my divorce, I didn’t realize it at the time, but someone once remarked that they saw me as a very resilient woman. The comment took me by surprise; I had never really thought of resilience as a skill that I possessed. Over time, I've come to understand that resilience isn't just an innate quality, but a skill that we actively develop through overcoming adversity.
In those days, without my conscious realization, I was living out resilience without even knowing it. This realization, gradually dawned on me after being sparked by someone else's observation, not only affirmed my strength but seemed to enhance it further. It's a testament to the idea that sometimes, recognizing and vocalizing someone's strength can amplify their sense of self and resilience even more, offering them a new lens through which to view their journey and capabilities.
You know when you learn something and it resonates within, you can never unlearn it? It’s like a light bulb going off, right! From that moment onward, I proudly embraced this knowledge—that I was strong, that I could get through my lowest points—that I was resilient. This realization became a vital part of how I approached each day moving forward. It served as a constant reminder that I had the strength to face challenges head-on and recover from setbacks.
Discovering my resilience was such a gift, a certainty that I could rely on at anytime in the future should I stumble or fall, knowing that with resilience, I could always get back up again, stronger and more prepared for whatever lies ahead.
Resilience Examples: What To Look for to Spot it in Yourself
When diving into the essence of what resilience is, it's helpful to identify specific skills and attitudes within yourself that signal your ability to adapt and thrive amidst adversity. Let's look at a few examples of being resilient you can spot in yourself.
Look for those moments when you are maintaining a positive outlook, even in difficult situations. This positivity is a sign of resilience, enabling you to see beyond the immediate challenges and stay focused on long-term goals.
Another indicator is your approach to problem-solving. Reflect on how you face problems: Do you tackle them head-on, considering various solutions, or do you feel overwhelmed? Your ability to brainstorm solutions and taking actions toward resolution, will demonstrate a resilient mindset.
Particularly for mothers, resilience is often a silent testament to their day-to-day strength. Balancing the demands of family life, career, and personal aspirations, mothers exemplify resilience through their unyielding ability to adapt and thrive in the face of life’s myriad challenges. Their journey enhances the resilience of their children, instilling in them the values of perseverance and determination.
Additionally, consider how you deal with the need for support. Being resilient doesn't mean going it alone all the time. Recognizing when you need help and reaching out to a friend, life coach or therapist is a strength. It shows a keen awareness of your limits and a willingness to seek assistance to overcome obstacles.
Understanding what resilience is begins by recognizing these qualities in yourself. Resilience is an essential skill for women at any age navigating life’s challenges , whether they’re academic, work-related, personal, or within relationships. Spotting these traits in your reactions and behaviors is the first step toward consciously leveraging them more consciously.
As you observe yourself becoming more resilient to life’s daily ups and downs, you can intentionally cultivate even greater resilience, armed with the lessons and strengths gained from past experiences.
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How to Build a Resilient Mindset
It's important to remember that being resilient isn't something you're born with; it's developed over time. This means that if you're actively working on these aspects—cultivating a positive and resilient mindset, honing your problem-solving skills, and seeking support when needed—you're building your resilience.
Building a resilient mindset is a journey that requires commitment, patience, and continuous effort. By choosing to practice resilience, you empower yourself to face life with strength and grace.
Still a bit confused and not sure where to start? Here are 7 ways to practice resilience to build a resilient mindset:
7 Resilience Strategies Anyone Can Practice
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Feel, Don’t Hide
The first step in building a resilient mindset is to acknowledge your emotions and your inner critic. Being the observer of your emotions and thoughts helps to cultivate resilience, allowing you to confront doubts and energy more confident. Don't hide or suppress them for this can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, or depression. It’s okay to feel upset, scared, or angry about the challenges you face. This is all part of the human experience. Honor these emotions. Try to understand what they are telling you, and then release them. Emotional resilience and healing grow from recognizing and accepting your feelings.
2. Seek Support
Lean On Others
Building resilience doesn’t mean going it alone. Seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can offer understanding, advice, and encouragement. Engaging with a supportive community and sharing your struggles can lighten your load and provide you with different perspectives and solutions. This network of support acts as a scaffold, strengthening your new resilient mindset by reminding you that there is a network of support always available to you and that collective wisdom and encouragement are always within reach.
3. Set Realistic Goals
Small Steps Forward
A resilient mindset is built by setting small, achievable, manageable goals. This method allows you to witness incremental progress, boosting your sense of control and keeping your motivation high. Make it a point to celebrate each success, no matter its size, reinforcing the importance of every step forward on your journey of resilient growth. This practice not only builds resilience but also creates a positive feedback loop, enhancing your confidence and determination with each achievement.
4. Cultivate a Positive Outlook
Optimism as a Tool
A positive outlook is a powerful tool in resilience. Strive to identify the silver lining in difficult situations and maintain hope for the future. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right in your life, highlighting the aspects of your life that are going well. This shift in perspective is instrumental in practicing resilience, fostering an environment where optimism thrives and strengthens your ability to navigate through adversity. Sure bad days will happen, things we don't anticipate. This is a part of life. But by tuning in and focusing on what is important, we can maintain our peace during these challenging times.
5. Adapt and Overcome
Flexibility Is Key
To build resilience, practice being adaptable in the face of change and tough times. Challenges often requires us to change our strategies and approach. Being open to finding new ways to solve problems is essential for overcoming obstacles. Embracing the search for innovative solutions and remaining open to various problem-solving methods are necessary steps in navigating and surmounting difficulties. This resilient flexibility not only aids in overcoming current obstacles but also prepares you for future uncertainties, making adaptability an indispensable component of a resilient mindset.
Well-being and resilience authority Dr. Lucy Hone offers a pivotal strategy for cultivating a resilient mindset. She encourages individuals to pause and reflect, asking themselves:
‘Is what I’m doing helping or harming me?’
By engaging in this introspection, those with a resilient mindset are empowered to make choices that are in their best interest at any given moment, steering their actions toward what is most constructive and beneficial for their personal growth and well-being. This outlook not only builds resilience but also encourages a proactive stance in facing life's challenges, guiding individuals to consistently opt for pathways that enhance their overall state of well-being.
6. Take Care of Yourself
Self-Care for Strength
At the core of resilience lies the well-being of both body and mind. Feeling physically well primes you to manage stress more effectively, providing a sturdy foundation upon which resilience can be built. Engaging in self-care routines strengthens your capacity to face challenges, ensuring you're not just surviving but thriving even when you've had better days. Being well also means to accept, to love yourself first, and surround yourself with those who lift you up. Give no one the power to lower your self-worth.
7. Learn from Experiences
Growth Through Challenge
Every challenge presents a chance for personal development. Engage in extra learning with self-reflection to understand your experiences better, pinpoint the lessons learned, and contemplate how this insight can be applied to meet future obstacles with enhanced efficacy. This dedicated work of self-discovery not only prepares you for what lies ahead but also deepens your resilience, turning each experience into a stepping stone towards a more adaptable and fortified self. Try challenging yourself a step further by taking a confidence course, or reading materials that will expand your current way of thinking to step outside of your comfort zone.
Embarking on Your Resilience Journey
As you stand at the crossroads of challenge and growth, remember that learning how to become resilient is a dynamic and personal journey. A resilient mindset is about more than just surviving; it's about thriving through adversity and emerging stronger. Take these insights and resilience strategies as your starting points and commit to integrating them into your daily life. Begin by setting small, achievable goals, embracing optimism, and nurturing flexibility.
Prioritize self-care and encourage continuous self-reflection. Live your days aligned with this sense of purpose and know that each step you take, no matter how small, is a leap towards cultivating a resilient spirit.
Now, it's your turn to take action. Start perhaps, with a daily gratitude practice or by setting a modest goal for the week instead of allowing minor annoyances to ruin your flow. By building a resilient mindset, means engaging in mindful practices and spend quality time with others who support your journey.
Remember, resilience is not a destination but a way of traveling. Let this be the moment you choose to rise, equipped with knowledge, empowered by optimism, and ready to face whatever the future holds with unwavering strength.
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